Love and money: how to manage expenses as a couple


Love and money

 

Money and love.

When these two words are put together, many people’s thoughts immediately go to something incorrect, “wrong”, as if common sense refused to conceive of any link between feelings and money. For cultural reasons, money remains the devil’s dung and cannot be associated with a positive concept such as love.

Perhaps this is also why many couples struggle to openly discuss economic issues.
Very often partners feel embarrassed talking about money, so they end up not talking about a topic that should be discussed instead.

The couple’s or family’s finances, if managed inadequately, can become a source of conflict and tension.

In this article we will explore some helpful strategies for managing money in a relationship.

 

  1. Open communication

Knowing how to communicate is essential in every aspect of a relationship, and financial matters are no exception. It’s important that both partners feel free to express their opinions and concerns on any topic, including money.

Regularly scheduling discussions dedicated to managing finances can be an effective way to keep communication open and address any problems proactively.

 

  1. Define common financial goals

Before you can plan your future together, including your financial future, it is essential that both partners share a common vision of their goals.

These goals might include saving for a home, retirement, or simply for a future trip.
Defining common objectives makes it easier to plan strategies to achieve them.

 

  1. Create a shared budget

A shared budget can be an effective tool for good financial management as a couple.

The two partners can decide together how much to allocate to fixed expenses, such as bills, and variable expenses, such as food, entertainment, lifestyle.

Monitoring your budget regularly and making adjustments when necessary is important to stay aligned with your established financial goals.

 

  1. Manage bank accounts

Some couples choose joint bank accounts, while others prefer to keep the accounts separate. Some opt for a middle ground: a joint account is used for the couple’s expenses, but each person remains responsible for their own account and personal expenses. There is no right or wrong solution, what matters is that both partners feel comfortable and that both have independent access to money.

 

  1. Respect each other’s independence

Even if finances are managed together, it is important that both partners maintain financial independence.

This means having autonomy in using your money for personal purchases, hobbies and individual interests. In the case of shared accounts, trust must be the basis. Otherwise, we should ask ourselves whether it is not appropriate to better evaluate the experience of living together.

 

In Italy, it is above all women who limit their economic independence when they enter into a relationship, sometimes leaving their job after the birth of their children or delegating the management of finances to their partner. This contributes to amplifying the gender gap at a social and work level, favoring phenomena such as economic violence.

In general, preserving the financial independence of each partner can reduce conflicts and promote well-being in the relationship.

 

  1. Deal with conflicts constructively

Even in the most balanced couples there can be disagreements regarding money and its use. In these cases it is important to address any conflicts in a constructive way, without blaming or criticizing the partner for economic choices with which one does not agree.

On the contrary, it is essential to find shared solutions, perhaps accepting some compromises, and work together towards a common goal.

Managing money as a couple and as a family requires commitment, communication and a bit of adaptation on both sides.

By fearlessly addressing financial issues, establishing common goals, and working together to create a solid financial foundation, couples can enjoy a stronger, more satisfying relationship.

 

 

February 7, 2024